Christmas.† I used to LOVE Christmas.† My brothers and I loved December and my Momma and Daddy made it a wonderful time for us.† Christmas meant presents and beautiful trees and huge family get-togethers and whispered prayers for snow.† Then I grew up.† In my teens, I still loved Christmas but not with the fervor of a child.† Then I got married.† I liked Christmas† and decorated every room in the house, put up a magnificent tree, bought enough presents for a small nation.

Then I became ambivalent toward Christmas.† Didn’t hate it, didn’t love it.† It just was.† I put up the tree and bought presents, but the magic wasn’t there.

The last almost decade, I have loved Christmas again.† Having a child makes you enjoy Christmas differently.† I love Kei’s excitement, her giddiness at all things Christmas related, her unshaken belief in Santa.† The way she gets more excited about what she gets me than what she is getting.† How her favorite part of Christmas is listening for Santa’s reindeer hooves on the roof.† How she understands the true meaning of Christmas.

Last Christmas was hard.† The 1st Christmas without my sweet Mother.† Kei helped me so much. Her presence made it bearable to survive my 1st Christmas alone, without Momma.

This Christmas I have been so worried.† Worried about money that I didn’t have to buy gifts.† I listened to Kei tell me, “Don’t worry Mommy, I am asking Santa for the things I want.† I don’t want anything from you.”† I worried and cried to myself and prayed.

Do you know there are angels everywhere?† They walk among us and show themselves in the most wondrous ways.† I have amazing people in my life.† People who don’t love me because I share their blood and they have to love me, people who love me just because.† People who have helped me to make sure my girl has a wonderful Christmas.† People who understand the true meaning of this season.† “Thank you” doesn’t seem like a big enough thing to say.† I am blessed, truly blessed to have you in my life.† I am honored to call you “friends”.† I have so missed having this kind of friends in my life.† Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.† Bless you.

Merry Christmas all.