As much as I totally love homeschooling, and I do love it so, I have a love/hate relationship with it at times.† I have a picture in my mind of how I think our lifestyle should look….and marking things off of a list of daily plans is NOT my picture.† I know what I want our days to look like..I can see it…it would be every subject flowing into each other, no lessons plans and check lists… always just lovely learning.
I canít seem to find this in our days.† As some of you know we tried unschooling but Keilee hated it.† She LIKES the plans and lessons but I still feel like her days consist of one thing; checking things off of a schedule. A big black check mark ? that means “I am done thank goodness”. † It seems she has only one goal every day and that is to get ëfinishedí.† She begins around 8:00 each morning and finishes around 1:00.† 8 weeks into this school year, after checking off 8 weekly lesson plans day by day, I am putting my foot down.† I want to try something new.† Isnít that what this journey is all about?† Finding your own groove, your own ëperfectí.† †She has agreed to let me do things my way for a few weeks.
So..we are going to have ëlesson plansí to make her happy but it will be one LESSON a day.† Math one day, history one day, science one day. †She still has Co-op on Monday that lasts for 4 hours. The rest of the time will be filled with ëcreativeí, free time.† Writing on her book, knitting, crocheting [she JUST learned how], reading, writing scripts, making clay creations, painting, making her movies, learning her lines for Little Women and Little Josephine, drawing, and tons more things that she doesnít have time to explore now.† There are so many art projects I want to do but every day is spent doing ëlesson thingsí.† That is going to change.
In Pre-Algebra I am asking her to do 2-3 lessons once a week.† JUST the new concepts.† Not every problem.† Then once every few weeks we will go over the last few chapters and see if she remembers the general concept of it.† I know that a lot of people do not agree with this.† And that is fine.† Some people get their kids to do every problem in Math.† I just donít feel that is necessary.† The ëconceptí is what is important.† One thing I have realized in Math is that I have forgotten how to do these problems.† But you know what? It takes me just a little while to figure it out.† So if she doesnít remember every single new concept she will figure it out if it becomes something she needs.
In History we are going to move ahead in US History.† Explore some† things that interest her.† Watch some movies, watch YouTube videos, do notebooking pages and move on.† Every week I scour the internet finding great videos to go along with what we are learning.† By the time we finish her ‘schoolwork’ there is rarely time for the videos.† Now if she wants to learn about JFK “RIGHT NOW MOM” , then we will learn about JFK.† It doesn’t matter what the ‘next thing’ in the chapter is!
In Science we are going to continue with General Science but skim the information and take what interests her.† Do the experiments because she loves them. †Go over the ìOn Your Ownî questions but not become freaked out if we donít answer EVERY SINGLE ONE.† If we are ‘studying’ force and motion but she wants to learn about fungus and mosses well the force and motion will keep.† By the time we actually ‘get to’ fungus and mosses’ she may be over her interest.
We are going to read aloud more.† We do read aloud now but there isnít enough time to read all the great things I want to read to her. So more reading and less lesson plans.† I want to rediscover the love of learning.† We are going to take more walks and enjoy this weather.† We are going to get in the car and just drive and see what we can find.
Keilee ëdiscoveredí reading this summer.† She spent hours sitting outside or on the couch reading.† So far in this ëschool yearí not so much reading.† Why? She doesnít have time.† Between lessons, Co-op, play practice 3 nights a week, Fantasy Players practice once a week, and filming the movie…she has NO TIME to read!† That is going to change.
I donít know how this will work.† Keileeís main concern is that she wonít learn what she needs to know.† Needs to know for what?† Life? College?† I tell her I STILL don’t know everything I need to know. It is a constant learning process.† She has 6 more years until college if that is what she decides on.† I believe with every fiber of my being that loving to learn is more important than checking off lists and memorizing math, history and science facts.† So here we go.
Maybe I will get this whole homeschooling thing down by the time she ëgraduatesí.†
Homeschooling Rocks,
Karen
Hi there! First time reading your blog. Found you through IG 🙂 Have you considered what this “checking marks off” says about your daughter’s personality? I can be totally off but typically that is a sign of a goal-oriented person. This is a strength that can be a weakness when it comes to enjoying the journey (which it sounds like you want out of the homeschooling experience). It’s good to challenge her to let go of the to-do list and take it all the details of what she’s doing.
I’ll be interested to see how you both find a balance in this area. Keep up the good work!
First, I love the photos.
Second, we seem to have our days where things flow and days when we are just checking off boxes. It seems that on days when we have nothing to do and nowhere to go, things flow…but when we have friends coming over or a class or I have to work, then I am trying to “get stuff done” before we have to go or friends arrive. It’s one of the reasons why I have become almost militant about only doing the things we REALLY want to do. Those relaxed days when learning flows are so magical…and when we are done it seems that the girls are in a place where they can go off and try computer programming on Khan Academy or sew something or make or edit a video…or just do something else constructive, learning flows with their interests and I love those days so much more than the days when we have somewhere to go!
Good morning, I know how you feel, this is only my second year homeschooling and most of the time I feel that checking off boxes is what gets us through the day. I want her to love what shes learning and not just do it because its required. A subject a day sounds so much better and fun because now it feels we never have time for anything else but school, school, school.
Thanks so much for this post and let us know how its working out, God bless…
Wow, what a great post! I feel the same way as you. I always straddle the line of checking off the list and interest led learning. My problem is I have a daughter that is not interested in really anything. I have to lead her most of the time and even then she doesn’t enjoy what I chose for us to do. It is really hard when you have a child that has no motivation to do anything academic and hates it all. It has been this way since day one. All she enjoys is drawing, drama, anime, and performing. I try to focus on her strengths and what she likes but at some point she really does have to learn something. At least basic concepts to get her through life. Hoping maturity will set in soon and led her down that path.
Blessings
Diane
I applaud you, Karen! It’s scary to try new things and your determination is contagious! I too tried “unschooling” last year but all my girls agreed there needs to be some sort of plan, even if it is a rough one. I think children feel more secure when they know what’s expected of them. I envy those families who can completely unschool – and do it well – alas it isn’t for us. I fell into the “check mark the boxes” syndrome when I first started homeschooling, and we burned out quickly. I’m trying to find the happy medium between lesson plans and unschooling – I don’t know if it’s possible but I continue to experiment! Keilee is lucky to have you as her mother and advocate. I love how you want her to have more freedom to pursue passions. That in itself is true education! Many blessings!
You are the second or third person I’ve read who is struggling with this, and all of you have kids the same age. I am beginning to wonder if it isn’t some kind of developmental milestone or something. Checking things off a To Do list is a big part of being an adult, after all. Maybe it’s a leap forward in maturity, and she will settle down and find a balance again soon.
I really understand the struggle to find the balance, too! I think it’s common in all aspects of homeschooling. Davan has been really into geography lately and that’s great – she’s doing some really interesting and in-depth stuff with it – and she reads constantly but she hasn’t really done Rosetta Stone since May. Over the summer that was okay with me (even after all these years of homeschooling I still seem to think along school schedules) and then we had some computer trouble (again), but now I want her to get back into it. She was loving it so much and making so much progress last year. And the last time she did math? Forget about it. I want to let her go with her interests, but then I have a hard time seeing some things get put aside for a while and I want to require that she do some (math, language, whatever) every day.
At any rate, kudos to you for looking for your own right path. Whatever your balance is for now, you and Kei will find it. And then search for it again in a month/year/week. LOL
Awesome friend! I know the ups and downs of homeschooling and it is rough. There are times I just want to throw in the towel and have someone else responsible for her education. You never feel like you’re doing enough or ever really accepted.
Finding the balance is hard isn’t it? Grace asked me how much “work” we had to do today……for her she is fine with moving through our lessons if she has something to do in the afternoon. If we don’t our day naturally turns into more of an interest led day. Right now I feel like we are in a moment of balance. I savor it because it could change at any moment!!!
You will find your balance too, between what you envision and what she needs to feel comfortable. We did one lesson a day for almost a year and it worked beautifully. Keep us updated……thinking of you!
~Jess
Wow. Nailed it for me. We fluctuate (as you know) between checking off boxes and interest led relaxed learning. I think it so depends upon the season your child is in, don’t you?
I just love the thought you put into Kei’s education, Karen. I have a feeling she is getting MORE than she needs, because of YOU!
I absolutely love your plans Karen 🙂 It’s such a hard thing to find that balance, isn’t it? I really feel like balance is always the key…in everything!…and it can be such a struggle to attain it. I know that I certainly struggle with it!! I wish you and Keilee the best as you set out to make some changes. Have fun!
I have struggled with this same issue, Karen. Every student is different. Every teacher is different. Every student-teacher relationship is different. With my younger boys, we mainly do one subject a day except reading and math, which seems just to take us more than one day a week. With my high-schooler, we do several subjects a day. I do have to make sure that doing school work, or checking the boxes doesn’t get in the way of the love of learning, and that takes a constant tinkering. I remember when I was teaching high school science courses in a co-op, all the other parents were so interested in them getting high marks, and could not have cared less about them actually learning the material. I would change the test questions in order to make the students think and the ones who memorized-to-dump-the-info.-immediately-after-the-test would bomb the tests because they could not think, they only knew how to memorize. The most important things, I think, is for my boys to love learning, know how to find information that they want to know and know how to think, to a lesser degree, how to write and compute. All the rest is unimportant to me. You know what I mean?
Karen, I SO understand the love/hate thing… and the frustration of raising a lovely young lady who just wants to do it “right.” I remember that age – and Sarah is coming into it herself – and I wish so much that I could go back and tell my younger self that the “right way” is just a trick people use to get you to do “their way!” I would have saved myself so much pain if I’d have just loosened up a little. You’re wonderful for helping Keilee both be herself – and be the kind of adaptable person who can thrive in life after “school,” whatever that means!!